Find your inner Ikea

After a trip to the Pittsburgh Ikea, you may bring home stylish furniture and a whole new way of thinking

KELLY HUDSON | CIN WEEKLY

Lisa Puzzitiello of Cleveland looks over artwork while shopping with her friend Brittany Newman, also of Cleveland. (Photo by Leigh Patton/CiN Weekly)

JUST THE FACTS

WHAT: Ikea Pittsburgh

WHEN: Open 10 a.m. to 9 p.m. Monday-Friday, 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. Saturday, 10 a.m. to 8 p.m. Sunday

WHERE: 2001 Park Manor Blvd., Pittsburgh, Penn.

CONTACT: (412) 747-0747 or www.ikea.com

ETC.: Ikea has promotions throughout the year. Its "Let's Talk Kitchens" event, with deals on kitchen furniture, ends March 28. Ikea's summer sale is in May; call the store for dates.

MY IKEA HAUL

• Dresser with three drawers: $59
• Six-shelf bookcase: $39
• Wall lamp: $16.99
• Side table: $5.99
• 3 four-knob wall hangers: $5.97
• Set of six wineglasses: $3.99
• 200 blue bendy straws: $1.99
• 10 AA batteries: $1.99
• 4 bookends at 49 cents each: $1.96
• 2 cable organizers: 99 cents

Total with tax: $147.52

Looks like I'm about $850 in the black. Who wants a drink?

When the subject of furniture shopping comes up around the CiN office, there's always at least one person who will say it. Their eyes will glaze over and they'll speak the name in hushed, ecstatic tones, as though they're in some sort of consumer cult:

Ikea.

The Swedish home store's furniture is extra-stylish, it's super-cheap, it's totally worth the trip - or so they say.

This furniture Mecca has so many converts to its philosophy that when CiN Weekly photographer Leigh Patton and I found ourselves in need of some new home furnishings, we couldn't resist making the pilgrimage - even though the closest store is just under five hours away, east of Pittsburgh. After all, the road to enlightenment is a long one.

THE TRIP

The scenery between Cincinnati and Columbus can be described like this: Cornfield ... cornfield ... cornfield ... gas station ... cornfield ... hey, the Jeffersonville outlets! ... cornfield ... cornfield ... gas station ... Columbus. And that's only half the trip. The rest of Ohio, apart from some pretty hills at the eastern edge, is similarly dull. Leigh and I survive the drive on a steady diet of greasy fast food and singable pop music.

As we cross into West Virginia, we high-five. We get to do it again 20 minutes later when we enter Pennsylvania. Our joy is short-lived, however; due to a Mapquest glitch, our directions lead us to the South Park Golf Course. It takes a half hour and a frantic phone call to the store before we are back on track. While Leigh puts the pedal to the metal, I navigate, maintaining a Zen-like calm. Just another obstacle on the path to enlightenment ...

TRAVELER TIP: Learn from our mistake. Mapquest doesn't know where Ikea is, but Yahoo! Maps (maps.yahoo.com) does. Ikea's Web site also offers directions to the store, but doesn't specifically describe how to get there from the Cincinnati area.

DESTINATION

Finally, finally, we pull up to the store, whose enormous parking lot is already nearly full. Walking through the lot to the big blue warehouse-like building that houses Ikea, I notice that a few parking spaces next to the handicapped spaces are set aside. They say "Family Parking Only."

Inside the store, families have a choice - they can take their kids through the store with them or drop them off at the "ball room," a supervised area filled with toys, paper for drawing, videos and a big pit of balls to jump around in. (For little ones who go through the store, Ikea has set up playhouses throughout the store, and the children's furniture section is packed with fun things to test-drive.)

Ikea is so very big, it's hard to wrap your head around it. The store does what it can by leading you on a prescribed path through its departments; arrows on the floor point to the next section. The path begins at a series of showrooms - sample living rooms, bedrooms, home offices, dining rooms and kitchens furnished solely with Ikea furniture and accents.

After a few examples of living rooms, the path winds through a sea of living-room furniture: first a bevy of couches, then a gaggle of end tables, then a confederacy of bookcases. Ikea spokeswoman Jennifer Murdock points out something very helpful: in these sections, the lowest-priced model of a certain type of furniture is marked with red-and-yellow signs. I use this information to snag a $59 dresser.

Murdock's favorite word is "solutions"; as she leads us through the store, she describes "bedroom solutions," "storage solutions," "kitchen solutions." And it's apparent that Ikea has a solution to every conceivable home-furnishing problem - from entertainment centers all the way down to wineglasses. "They've really been able to think of everything you could possibly want or need," Murdock says.

The sheer amount of merchandise available is striking, and it's just one way Ikea is different. Another is the do-it-yourself aspect of the store. When you come in, you pick up a pencil and card (and a tape measure, if you want). In the showrooms, if you see something you like, you write it down on the card, then you go looking for it. The furniture can be found in boxes in the "self-serve" warehouse just before the end of the store. You buy it, take it home and assemble it yourself. Smaller items, like my wineglasses, are found in the "Marketplace" downstairs; Murdock says of this vast expanse of lampshades, espresso mugs, plants and even wrapping paper, "I don't know whether it's less overwhelming or more overwhelming."

TRAVELER TIP: Buy too much, even with those easy-to-pack flat boxes? It happens. Have your new furniture shipped home - Ikea offers a range of shipping options. Call the store to work out a plan for your situation.

THE CULTURE

In Ikea's restaurant, which specializes in Swedish food, store manager Jim Anastos sits down with us to discuss what he calls "the Ikea way." He refers to it as a different way of doing business, giving examples ranging from the self-serve nature of the store to the company's environmental consciousness (products use sustainable wood, and displays in the store tout the merits of low-energy light bulbs) to its corporate (or anti-corporate) culture.

"Everybody is (on a) first-name basis, right up to Ingvar, who's the founder," Anastos says. "If you referred to him as Mr. Kamvrad, he would probably be a little put off by it."

Even the restaurant itself (where a chicken pilaf dinner is only $3.99) is a good example of the way Ikea does business. "We don't make any money off the restaurant," Anastos says - Ikea sells the food at cost. It's not profitable, but it is good business sense: In a store where a shopping trip could take upwards of three hours, offering a good, inexpensive sit-down meal at the midway point is not just thoughtful; it's almost essential to customer satisfaction.

TRAVELER TIP: Since the Pittsburgh Ikea's range of potential customers is among the chain's widest (Murdock says customers have come from as far away as Florida) employees keep a list of hotels on hand for customers who spend too long at the store and decide to spend the night in town.

SHOP TILL YOU DROP

After learning more about Ikea's history and philosophy than we ever thought possible, Leigh and I get down to some serious shopping. By the time we reach the home-office section, my card is full of scribbled reminders, prices and crossed-out aisle numbers.

Downstairs in the Marketplace, Leigh picks out a duvet cover while I try to decide between pink and blue bendy straws. We dally in the kids' section to play with fun rocking chairs that look like half-moons and trampoline-like cushions that teach balance. Employees are around to help, but they won't bother you unless you ask.

Finally, we head to the self-serve warehouse to pick up our furniture. I find my dresser with no trouble, but the bookcase I want (which comes in two different sizes and five finishes) takes a little more effort. In addition to a serial number and picture of the piece for identification purposes, boxes are labeled with their weight; if it's too big for you to handle alone, employees can help.

To the side of the cash registers is the "As-Is" room - the damaged, defective and discontinued merchandise. Items in this room have defects ranging from scuffs to missing parts; one couch has no legs. If you don't mind fixer-uppers, bargains abound.

On line to check out, I discover the best find yet - a package of 10 AA batteries for $1.99. More proof that Ikea really does have everything.

TRAVELER TIP: Don't have a roof rack on your car? Ikea provides a temporary cardboard rack that can help you get yourfurniture home in one piece. Look for them near the exit.

EPILOGUE

As Leigh and I roll through the West Virginia hills on our way back, I feel a sense of contentment. I have made the Ikea pilgrimage, and I have found enlightenment. The next time someone talks about home furnishings, I will be able to count myself among the converts to the Ikea way.

THINGS I WISH I'D KNOWN

Here are a few tips to make your Ikea experience run more smoothly and help you get the best deals:

• Be fed, caffeinated and well rested. This is not a quick trip to the Pottery Barn. You will probably be wandering through the store for two hours; if you're serious about reinventing your home, it may take six hours to get through everything.

• Remain calm. Long shopping trips are always stressful, and this one is taking place far from the comfort of your home. By the end of the store, I saw plenty of arguments and crying kids, and I was feeling pretty cranky myself. Taking breaks is a good idea - hence the restaurant at the midway point.

• The store maps out a path for you to follow. Don't stray too far away from it, or you might miss an entire department.

• Make a list of what you need - and don't assume you'll remember everything. In the excitement - and eventual fatigue - that results from seeing absolutely every product known to man, you will likely forget that you need to pick up a toilet brush.

• Measure before you go. I forgot to measure my windows and was left wondering whether I could get the bigger-sized bamboo shades and just cut off the extra width.

• Write down the size of the piece you want. It may come in different lengths.

• Pieces may have different prices for different finishes - and when the pieces are boxed up in the self-serve warehouse, it can be tough to tell which is which. The bookcase I got in plain white would have cost $20 more with a wood veneer finish.

• Remember that the red-and-yellow tags signify the biggest bargains. This can be the difference between a good deal and an outright steal.