Day 4

Day 4

My final day at SXSW featured a pair of bonuses: Ray Romano and Brad Garrett breaking into stand-up schtick after a screening of a Romano documentary; and a chance to participate in a roundtable interview of American Psycho director Mary Harron.

I've always had this fear of roundtable interviews and press conferences. You know how people who are afraid of public speaking have nightmares that they are talking in front of a group naked? Well I have one were I'm in a press conference and ask a question so idiotic that everyone turns and stares at me. I'm usually naked as well, but that's another story.

Here's the final SXSW count:

Movies watched: 14

Entire Alamo pizzas consumed: 6

Alleged Eric Roberts sightings: 1

A brief summary of the final day's movies:

1) The Notorious Bettie Page

With its lush black and white cinematographer and indictment of contemporary times through a 1950s allegory, this biography of pin-up queen Bettie Page is not that dissimilar to Good Night and Good Luck. However, it doesn't hide its agenda as well and follows the standard biopic blueprint fairly stringently considering it was directed by the filmmaker behind American Psycho.

2) 95 Miles to Go

You have to admire Ray Romano's honesty. Instead of editing this road documentary tracing the Everybody Loves Raymond star's eight-day stand-up tour through the south to show Romano in a positive light, 95 Miles to Go presents him as an obsessive, constantly complaining neurotic.

3) The OH in Ohio

What's the cure for female sexual dysfunction? For The OH in Ohio, it's a dip in a swimming pool and some lovin' from an aging, balding five-foot pool man (Danny DeVito). Parker Posey stars as a frigid executive whose neatly manicured life is thrown into upheaval when she has her first orgasm.

4) Bickford Schmeckler’s Cool Ideas

Almost Famous star Patrick Fugit plays a troubled college student forced to climb out of his shell when his beloved journal of philosophical ramblings is abducted in this loopy comedy.

5) Population 436

Add this to my list of reasons to like Fred Durst. Which brings that list's total to one. Durst is a member of the titular popular in this creepy Children of the Corn meets The Stepford Wives horror flick about a census taker investigating a town whose population hasn’t changed in more than a century.

Day 3

You have to love film festival audiences. Never in the six years I've been in Austin have I heard a single cell phone ring during a movie. Not once. Never has my head nearly exploded from the desire to tell someone in the next row to please shut their piehole. Never has an audience member unloaded a smuggled cache of Doritos and Pepsi to crunch for the entire movie.
Movies O' the Day:

1) Friends With Money
http://www.sonyclassics.com/friendswithmoney/
Friends with Emotional Problems, or Friends with Unhappy Lives would have been equally appropriate titles.
Jennifer Aniston (Don't expect a Brad Pitt joke here. I'm above such things. OK, the truth is I just can't think of one right now) plays the broke single friend of a well-off, married group of Los Angeles gal pals in this latest female-centric ensemble gab fest from Lovely and Amazing director Nicole Holofcener. The ending comes abruptly and leaves a myriad of plot threads dangling after only 88 minutes, but the fact that I was enraged to leave the world of Friends With Money so quickly speaks to Holofcener's talent for creating flawed yet compelling characters.

2) Even Money
With six films to choose from at any particular screening time, sometimes I fall into the trap of choosing a flick with recognizable cast and director names over another in which I'm unfamiliar with those involved.
This ludicrous gambling addiction melodrama comes from On Golden Pond director Mark Rydell and features Danny DeVito, Ray Liotta, Kim Basinger, Kelsey Grammer and Nick Cannon. I figured how bad could it bad. Well, pretty bad.

Day 2

Day 2

One of the best things about coming to Austin is the movie theaters. The list of six or so theaters showing SXSW entries has changed slightly over the six years I've been coming to the film festival, some of those changes for the better. The festival thankfully took the Millennium Youth Complex off the schedule. For one, the youth center was a haul from downtown. And two, every time I went out there I felt like I was going to get mugged by a gang of kids right out of Hostel.

The two constants on the theater schedule are The Paramount and The Alamo Draft House. There's not really a Cincy equivalent of The Paramount, an ornate designed classical movie palace opened in 1915. Think The Palace in Louisville or The Kentucky in Lexington, but even more breathtaking.

The tone of the Alamo Draft House couldn't be further from that of the restrained, history-laden Paramount. With a menu stuffed with beer, wine and even sangria, the Alamo is equal parts bar, restaurant (the most delicious pepperoni pizza in the history of mankind) and cult movie house. To give you an idea of the theater's typical offerings, March screenings include a Mystery Science 3000-esque showing of Flashdance, For a Few Dollars More, Lucio Fulci's gorefest The Gates of Hell and something called The Erotic Adventures of Pinocchio.

The Movies

1) OilCrash

(http://www.oilcrashmovie.com/)

Any documentary whose subject is America's reliance on Middle Eastern oil would seem to be inherently anti-Bush, but outside of a few light jabs at the president OilCrash is strictly a cautionary tale.

Cinematically photographed and edited in the style of esteemed documentarian Errol Morris, OilCrash's message is simple - one day, the world is going to run out of oil. And that day may be sooner than you think.

2) Maxed Out

If OilCrash is an ideologically neutral warning, Maxed Out is a scathing indictment targeting the increasingly predatory practices of the credit card industry. It's undeniably manipulative (the film juxtaposes scenes of credit collectors celebrating with those of parents crying over dead children), but also endlessly fascinating and sobering.

Maxed Out's final point is this - 30 years ago, credit card companies would not issue cards to people without the means to pay their debts. Today, those are exactly the type of people they want.

3) Al Franken: God Spoke

(http://www.phfilms.com/index.php/phf/film/alfranken/)

A cinema verite-style look at the comedian turned left-wing broadcaster's various road excursions over the course of two years, this unfocused documentary has no particular point and begins and ends at seemingly arbitrary points. The film's stops include Franken's launch of Air America, his feud with Bill O'Reilly and a trip to the Republican National Convention.

Considering the film's fervent anti-Republican tone, enjoyment of this one is most likely reserved for those who lean to the left. And there are plenty of those in Austin, as evidenced by the boos that cascaded upon President Bush when he appeared in archive footage during the movie.

4) Danny Roane: First Time Director

(http://andydick.com/danny_roane.html)

One of the difficult things about attending a film festival with so many screening options is that inevitably a few stinkers sneak into your viewing schedule. Consider this the first stinker I've witnessed thus far this year.

As much as Andy Dick annoys me, I have to grudgingly admit that his debut as a director has a few laughs in it. But mostly this mockumentary following an alcoholic TV actor's attempt to direct an indie flick merely reminds that improv schtick is best left to Christopher Guest.

Day 1

I know that blogs are supposed to be a semi-rambling, stream-of-consciousness form of gonzo journalism populated with meaningless personal minutia, sort of Hunter S. Thompson without the booze, drugs and giant lizards. But before I begin talking about my experience at the airport or what I had for lunch, here's a little background on the subject of this blog - the annual South By Southwest Film Festival in Austin, Texas.

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Drop into a conversation the fact that you're going to South by Southwest and don't expect looks of recognition from most folks. Certainly not the kind of look you'd get by saying you'll be attending Sundance, Cannes or even the Toronto film fest.

Located in Austin, Texas, the annual South By Southwest (SXSW) film and music fest is as far away in terms of tone as it geographically from the beaches of Cannes or the powdered slopes of Sundance's Colorado setting.

With a few exceptions such as Russell Crowe or Ethan Hawke, SXSW isn't a place where celebrities come to be seen. It isn't a place were members of the media trample each other to get to bags of swag. It isn't place where films will land million dollar pick-up deals.

In short, SXSW isn't a fest for celebrities or celebrity gawkers. It isn't a place for studio buyers to try to buy up the next indie crossover hit. It isn't a place to bank copious amounts of swag (which is a shame, because I could those iPods and designer sunglasses that get handed out at Sundance).

SXSW is a celebration of indie films for film fans and filmmakers. It's a place where people crazy enough to actually watch five movies a day for seven days straight can come to congregate.

So what qualifies me to be your guide for the next four days of South By Southwest? Allow me to present my credentials:

*I know every line of dialogue in Tombstone, Top Gun and Big Trouble in Little China.

*I can discuss in detail the various forms of montage championed by Sergei Eisenstein.

*I own VHS copies of the Mickey Rourke movies Barfly, Angelheart and Diner.

*I have read that annual Leonard Maltin movie guide cover-to-cover. And enjoyed it.

*I have seen Beastmaster 37 times.

In short, I'm a movie geek, which is who SXSW is made for.

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Alright, enough of that. Onto the flicks from Day 1.

1) Thank You for Smoking

Opens: March 17 in "limited" cities (i.e. not Cincinnati) and will expand here later

(www2.foxsearchlight.com/thankyouforsmoking/teaser/)

As a Big Tobacco mouthpiece with a self-proclaimed "bachelors in kicking ass and taking aim," lobbyist Aaron Eckhart is a man so dedicated to his employer that telling his son's grade school classmates they should smoke never registers as a morally questionable decision. And he's the hero of "Thank You for Smoking," a perversely amusing satire of the cancer stick industry's spin machine from first-time director Jason Reitman.

Throughout Reitman's inaugural effort there are hints that Eckhart may be on the road to redemption, but that redemption never comes. Which is the film's ultimate joke - a movie glorifying a soulless big tobacco lobbyist is as ridiculous as the cigarette's industry's defense of its product.

2) Prairie Home Companion

Opens: June 9

(www.aprairiehomecompanionmovie.com/)

With his beloved variety show set to be taken off the air and the studio turned into a parking lot, Garrison Keillor and his cohorts prepare for one last Prairie Home Companion in this fictionalized behind-the-scenes look at the long-running National Public Radio show.

On one level, the film is an elegiac love letter from director Robert Altman to Keillor's endangered brand of live broadcasting. On another, the film is very much about the 80-year-old Altman's own ruminations on mortality, with the ultimate message being that you've got to "do every show like it's your last."

3) This Film Is Not Yet Rated

Opens: Premieres on the Independent Film Channel

Most of the revelations in this expose on the Motion Picture Association of America's ratings system will not come as a shock for anyone familiar with the MPAA.

Violence is treated with more leniency than sex. Homosexual subject matter will always be rated more severely than similar heterosexual subject matter. Major studios films are judged by a different set of standards than lower-budgeted independent films.

That said, it's nice to see a filmmaker stick it to the MPAA after decades of that association's puritanical (and arbitrary) censorship.