One of the great things about writing is that you never know when you're going to touch a nerve. It can take you by surprise, as I'm sure it did the young woman who hung out her insecurities for all to see in a recent Last Word column in CiN Weekly.

Her commentary was a refreshingly candid and honest expression of how tough it can be to find your place in the world. The online version of The Last Word is set up like a guest blog, allowing people to comment.

Talk to the average blogger, and you'll learn that three or four comments on any given entry means you're doing well. It's not uncommon for benign posts to slip into the ether with zero.

The blog entry in question, aptly titled "Lost in Transition" is at 20 comments and counting. Not too shabby.

I like blogs because they allow readers to offer their opinions as quickly as they can type.

I hate them because spineless people can say crappy things while cloaked in anonymity.

The mean-spirited comments on our Last Word blog are always from the same person, some guy named Anonymous. He can be a real jerk.

If I were annointed King of the Blogosphere, I would hand down an edict requiring all bloggers to use their real names. Doing so would encourage people to think before they post.

Call me old school, but I believe people should take ownership of their opinions or shut the hell up. (I realize this might not be a popular viewpoint, especially among the serial blog commenters out there, so feel free to add yours.)

Since starting the Last Word feature in print and online about six months ago, we've had a wide variety of rants and musings. Some are serious, such as the nurse who wrote about dealing with a patient's racial bigotry. Others are just plain goofy, like the dude who shoots paint balls at stray dogs that wander into his yard.

My favorites are the ones that connect with readers on an emotional level – the ones that touch a nerve.

So here is my invitation to you. If you have something to say, we want to hear it. Go to Cincinnati.Com, keyword: last word, and start typing.

And don't worry about that Anonymous guy. It's easy to see he's got some deep-seeded insecurities. His mother must have dressed him funny when he was a kid.

Thursday, June 30, 2005 edition

Welcome faithful blog readers, people with too much time on their hands, members of the working populace bored senseless in their cubicle jail and all of you who fall somewhere in between. If you happened to stumble upon this site last week, you may have caught Vol. II of "the McCoy-Nifesto," my rather lengthy follow-up to my first venture into the world of blogging. But in order to stop myself from ranting for so long (and making you even that much more tired of me in the process), I am simply going to take one day a week to jot down my thoughts for public consumption ...

And with that out of the way, here it goes.

• Congratulations to my fellow University of Cincinnati bearcat alum Jason Maxiell on getting drafted no. 26 overall by the Detroit Pistons in last night's NBA draft. I guess all those long hours of listening to Al Green has produced some true "Love & Happiness" for the former no. 54.

• Here's one from the "Man, I don't feel like being black right now" files. (I swear, I have no plans on sending any mail to Mexico any time soon, but if I do, this stamp better not be on the return envelope).

• You know, Ryan Dempster may not have had many memorable moments during his time with the Cincinnati Reds, but at least he gives a good interview.

• Picture it: You've just scored the biggest hit of your still-young career, and then you have to deal with something like this the week your album goes on sale.

I hope he didn't do it for his sake, but I really can't buy your album with something like this going on. Note to all aspiring rappers: If you plan on living your lyrics, make sure your lyrics are ones worth living.

• She may have starred in Seed of Chucky, but Jennifer Tilly has got to be smarter than some of the things she does would indicate if she can win at the World Series of Poker.

• Moving on, no matter how you feel about gun control, you've got to admit seeing stories - and especially pictures - like this in your neighborhood would make you think twice about the issue.

• And lastly ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Barbershop star Eve to the world of the video tape scandal.

Remember high school? Remember when everything mattered so, so much? Remember studying everyone and everything but being terrified to actually interact with any of it, because your stupid, worthless presence would ruin everything? Remember thinking you'd got everything sort of under control, only to be presented with a host of new issues to worry yourself sick over? And remember how it all seems sort of silly now?

Well, I do. And that's why it took me such a long time to read Prep, a new novel by local-girl-made-good Curtis Sittenfield - because I had to keep taking "think breaks," where I'd close the book and try to stop thinking so damn hard, remembering things like sitting silent and alone in class freshman year, or giggling through a drama club audition because I couldn't bring myself to throw myself unabashedly into my character.

When Lee Fiora is at Ault (local shout-out!) boarding school, she becomes a different person from the relaxed, confident girl she says she is at home in South Bend. (We rarely see her at home, so we have to take her word for it.) She's painfully shy and hyper-sensitive, and anything can upset the delicate balance in her life and send her running for cover. (In fact, that's exactly what happens in the first chapter, when, because of a teacher's mistake, she has to make a presentation on exactly the same topic as the boy who just presented before her. She runs for the bathroom.)

As time goes by, Lee learns how to interact with people, but she's still really, really wrapped up in what they think of her. All of this comes to a head in rather dramatic (and, I thought, unnecessary) fashion her senior year, but the real genius of the book is not in the plot, but in the details.

Sittenfield does a rather amazing job capturing the - or, at least, my, at least to begin with - high school experience and distilling it down to pure, sweet agony; she also makes some points about the way people interact that still ring true. Like, when Lee is walking around the school grounds and see someone she sort of knows, she rummages around in her backpack, pretending to look for something, so she won't have to acknowledge him and risk utter awkwardness. Yeah, I still do that sometimes.

So, now that I've finished Prep, I'm reading The Washingtonienne. I can already tell that it's going to be a vastly different sort of book. I'll probably have to take "think breaks" for this one, too - but of a different kind.

Several months ago, I posted what would become one of the more talked about posts when I released Vol. I of "The McCoy-nifesto," or a collection of my random thoughts. And given the hectic schedule that is life as a CiN Weekly staff member, Vol. II - which will be followed up by a regular collection of "Thoughts for the Thoughtful" on a (likely) weekly basis - has been a long time coming ...

And without any further ado, here it is.

• I recently made a comment in the office that the majority of women I've met don't eat fish, mainly because they either [a] don't like the taste/smell or [b] the texture. This was met by resistance by the majority of the Cin Weekly female staff. Thus, women of Greater Cincinnati, I pose the question: do you like fish - yes or no?

• The violence in downtown is getting ridiculous. I recently turned on the news and 20 seconds passed before I could tell if the anchor was talking about Iraq or downtown.

• The Supreme Court just made a landmark ruling that basically says local governments can use eminent domain to take homes in the name of economic development. Given the fact the Rookwood area is expanding like Tom Cruise's frenetic public actions, has anyone ever stopped to think about the fact people will need somewhere to live and thereby store all the stuff they bought at the mall?

• And speaking of Rookwood, why doesn't Norwood just change it's name to "Norwood presented by Rookwood Estates" or something?

• Does it seem weird to anyone else that people using medical marijuana could be prosecuted for doing so? I'm not endorsing the use of marijuana by any means, but how are you gonna give someone a jail sentence that might have more time on it than they do to live?

• With all the recent shakeups down at Great American Ball Park lately, was anyone else worried that Wily Mo Pena and Ken Griiffey, Jr. might be traded before they had their bobble head nights earlier this year? Thank goodness Tony Perez - his bobble giveaway night is Aug. 12 - is already retired.

• God bless Chad Johnson for downplaying his agent Drew Rosenhaus' recent comments saying he is "grossly (or vastly) underpaid" and that he has no plans of holding out for money. Having talked to Chad on several occassions, I can honestly say he cares about the game and hopefully realizes the fact he will make more money in one game this year than you and I probably will in the next three years is reason enough not to complain.

• I've had it with the diet sodas - Pepsi One, Coke Zero, Diet Sprite Zero; where will this madness stop. You know, if you want a drink with zero sugar, zero caffiene and zero carbs, I've got a much better drink recommendation for you. It's called water.

• And speaking of Sprite, I hate "Thirst," that inanimate spokesdoll. He's not "urban," he's not "street" and he !#@! sure ain't "hip-hop." He's annoying. Case closed.

• I said it earlier this year and having listened to the album again recently, I stand by my conviction: Will Smith's new album is one of the best hip-hop albums out this year. I'm sorry people, but what you're probably listening to right now makes Young MC look like Kool G. Rap - and if you don't know who Kool G. Rap is, you've just proven my point. Buy the way, pick up the following album: Foreign Exchange's Connected (2004 BBE Music). Your ears will be better off for it.

• Didn't everybody just forget about that Mr. & Mrs. Smith movie? And did you watch the Spurs vs. the Pistons in the NBA finals? Yeah, me neither.

• If I had the money to get in it, I would love to play in the World Series of Poker just once. Blame it on this week's CiN Weekly cover story if you like, but I think I could do fairly well for myself.

• Being single in summer sucks. There's no joke coming after that.

• Finally, a note to Tom Cruise: for the love of everything sacred, stop it. Love is a beautiful thing; your proclamation of being in it with Katie Holmes and for Scientology every 30 seconds or so is not.

Co-copy editor Kari and I went to Fountain Square yesterday in search of free Reubens from the art museum. Well, they were all out - after 20 minutes! (Next week, we'll get there early; maybe we'll just camp out in the square overnight.)

But our Reuben-less trip turned out to be worthwhile, thanks to the spaceman. Did anyone else see this guy?

See, there was a guy in a space suit just walking around Fifth and Vine. We passed him twice - once on the way to the square; once on the way back. It looked like he was making a circuit of the four crosswalks. Someone was videotaping him as he crossed the streets, but it didn't really seem like he was trying to interact with anyone.

At one point, he was walking parallel to a group of young businessmen, and one of them decided it would be fun to flip the camera off and stick out his tongue ... for the entire walk across the street. I'm pretty sure I don't like that guy.

*alternate post title: "I'm a Rock ... It ... Man! Rocket Man, burnin' out his fuse up here! Alone!"

It's not just those of us in Redsland amazed at the numbers Eric Milton is putting up. (Indicative headline of the week: Beatings go on for Milton, Reds) Sports Illustrated's Fantasy Central took a look at his record-threatening gopherball pace over the weekend. And today, he's the subject of ESPN's Elias stat of the day feature.

Turns out, its not just that the ball goes a long way, people are getting hits with alarming frequency. Milton's tops (er, worst) in the majors allowing 12.8 hits per nine innings. And, in other things you might have guessed, Ramon Ortiz is second at 12.7.

John Fay's Sunday column suggests the Reds won't spend so lavishly next season. Spending smarter would be nice, but it always is with the benefit of hindsight.

For those of you into this sort of thing, there's a few concerts I now find out are going on sale Friday, a.k.a. tomorrow:

• The Backstreet Boys at Riverbend on Aug. 16
  
• Ted Nugent at Bogarts on Aug. 22
  
• Rise Against at Bogarts on Aug. 15
  
• Go Betty Go at Top Cats on July 21
  
• Luna Halo at Top Cats on July 22 (not to mention Lucky Boys Confusion on the 28th)
  
• and you all already knew about Bruce Springsteen coming to U.S. Bank on Aug. 1. Those don't go on sale until the 24th though.

And anyone who would like to weigh in on the overall prospects for this, the summer concert season, feel free to use the comment space below.

I was trying to wake up this morning when I heard the radio telling me about Erika Wennerstrom. Wait, I recognize that name. Yep, the Heartless Bastards were on NPR's Morning Edition. It ain't Rolling Stone, but that's still pretty good.

For all of you concerned about his whereabouts, Corrie Schaffeld, CiN's former production manager/flip-flop aficionado, was found alive and well this weekend in the Chicago suburb of Oak Park.

While visiting Chicago for a conference, I found the newly married Mr. Schaffeld exactly where you might have suspected. He was sprawled out on his IKEA couch in an Al Bundy-type position laughing at the fart jokes in the seminal film "Corky Romano."

Mr. Schaffeld has changed greatly since he left Cincinnati six weeks ago. The good old West Side boy has gone all highbrow. He's given up wearing his Reds cap backwards in favor of, well, wearing a White Sox cap backwards. His love for chili is second to Polish sausage. In his book, Porkopolis now has nothing on the Windy City.

Despite these startling developments, Mr. Schaffeld remains a decent human being. He was kind enough to offer me room and board for three nights as long as I agreed to several of his demands.

1. I had to teach him to read.

2. In addition to having to constantly refer to him as "Daddy-O," I had to accompany him to trendy downtown bars while wearing one of his many Smurf-colored wigs.

3. I had to promise not to tell anyone back in Cincinnati that he regurgitated chicken fried rice on Saturday night after a tequila-fueled rampage through downtown and Lincoln Park.

Well, fulfilling two out of three obligations ain't bad.

Thanks for the Chi-town memories, Daddy-O.

P&G, which spends more than $5.5 billion on advertising each year, is cutting the money it spends "upfront" on TV commercials this year:

"[T]he move is reflective of the company's stated desire to be less dependent on the 30-second television ad, instead experimenting more on product placements, online ads or other media."

If P&G is fragmenting its ad buys, you can bet other companies will follow. Brands may not sponsor whole shows anymore, but it sounds like they'll pay to be included (see Crest and "The Apprentice").

And since prime-time TV is still expensive, does this mean we'll be seeing more ads for drugs targeting certain dysfunctions?

Both dailies described the city council's reacation to the county's move on the riverfront sea of dirt as "unhappy." They "blasted" the deal with two developers to get things moving in that big empty area between the two stadiums.

enq: City Council blasts secret Banks deal
post: City blasts county for Banks talks

But really, it doesn't seem like the county has overstepped its bounds, just gotten the ball rolling on the part of the project it agreed to handle.

"The county's power over the project comes primarily from the 1996 countywide sales tax, which pays for the garages to provide parking and lift the shops, offices and condos out of the flood plain. But the county can't build above the level of Second Street without the city's approval."
- from enq

Seems like the most important blasting is whatever holes have to be made to get started on these parking garages.

In other downtown development news, it looks like the Fountain Square plan is going through. ( enq | post )

Here's an excerpt from a press release we got today:

Through an exclusive agreement with AOL Music, beginning tomorrow, fans who buy two reserved tickets to the highly anticipated Backstreet Boys summer tour will get two free lawn seats to the same show.
The limited-time offer, made possible through a first-of-its-kind deal between Clear Channel Music Group and a major touring artist, runs from June 10th through 24th. Tickets will be available on AOL one week before anywhere else and, while general tickets for the tour go on sale June 17, the buy two get two free offer will continue to be available for an additional week exclusively via AOL.

from Clear Channel Music Group Spotlights Backstreet Boys Tour With Ticket Offer (pdf)

The Riverbend show is Aug. 16.

Think ticketmaster might be miffed?

And we suggest telling your friends up front that they'll be on the lawn while you're sitting in the pavilion.

UPDATE: They've changed venues for the last two shows. Corrected information appears below.

The Fringe Festival has announced the picks - shows that will get an extra performance Sunday. Three groups voted for their favorite show:

Critics: (2 p.m.) "Does This Monologue Make Me Look Fat?" by Amy Salloway (who has a post at Fringe's blog about how much she misses us. Apparently, it's hot in Minneapolis, too.) at the Contemporary Arts Center

Producers: (5 p.m.) "Slow Children Playing" by Anna Marie Agniel at Gabriel's Corner

Audience: (8 p.m.) "A/ThePostModernLoveStory" by Blue Forms Group at Memorial Hall

Proceeds from these tickets support next year's festival.

While the Reds struggle and we look back fondly on happier times, Les Carpenter of the Washington Post writes about Barry Larkin and his special position with the suddenly winning Nationals:

"But the best assistance he can provide might come in those moments he is sitting in the social corner of the clubhouse, sprawled in his chair doing nothing more than talking baseball."

Maybe the Reds clubhouse needs more people sitting in chairs, just talking baseball, as opposed to, y'know, visits from suits proclaiming unacceptability.

My main man Dave Dyssegard of Awakenings e-mailed me to remind me that my beloved Hyde Park coffee shop will be featured on a new reality show on CBS tonight.

"Fire Me ... Please" comes on at 9 p.m.

Here's an overview from the website realitytv.about.com:

"Two people start new jobs on the same day -- with the unusual goal of getting fired by 3 p.m. The contestants try their best to drive their unsuspecting coworkers and bosses crazy while hidden cameras capture it all. The contestant who gets fired closest to the 3:00 p.m. deadline, but does not go past it, is declared the winner."

Here is today's Enquirer story.

And Happy Robanukah, too!

Here is a Fringe-related story.

I was thinking about volunteering for the Fringe Festival (turned out I couldn't make it to either of the orientation meetings), so I was on the Web site that shows who's volunteering for what. I see that someone named Seth Hudson has signed up for several shifts.

"Funny," I think. "Someone with my last name is volunteering. Hehehe - if we both volunteered, people would probably think we were married! Or maybe brother and sister ..."

I kept scrolling down, seeing Seth Hudson's name for different shifts and thinking how funny it would be if I volunteered and people thought we were related ...

Then I smacked myself in the head. We ARE related. Seth is my cousin, and he's a student at UC. I had forgotten about this because I always think about him in the context of his hometown in eastern Ohio. Sometimes I can be ridiculously slow on the uptake.

The good thing about my rampant stupidity is that I finally dropped a line to my cousin (whom I haven't seen in quite some time). We're going to try to hang out at one of the shows - probably Don't Look Down, which was written by one of his friends. Maybe we'll go to the bar thing afterward, too.

The Reds couldn't make a deal for Danny Graves ( Enquirer | Post ) so they won't even get a prospect for him. In 48 hours, after he clears waivers, somebody will probably sign him and have to pay somewhere around $200,000 for his services the rest of the season.

UC officially released its new "C-paw" logo today. You know, the one that was available on t-shirts released a bit early a few months back.

And I think we can all bid farewell to the Cincinnati Marshals, seeing as the coaches have resigned in protest. Though drawing 4,000 sounds like you ought to be able to pay your bills, apparently that wasn't happening.

Here is a gem of a question submitted by a CiN Weekly reader:

Does anyone remember the King Kwik song? What about other big Cincinnati cultural things? - Leo

Ah, the famous King Kwik commercial of our youth! The jingle for the local convenience store chain went something like this: "Who's open when they're not? King Kwik. Who offers you a lot? King Kwik. King Kwik, it's your neighborhood store!"

And what about those crazy Kwik brothers? If anybody has video of those spots, let us know. We'll get them up on our Web site.

And what about other big Cincinnati (ahem) "cultural things"? Anyone remember Zip Rzeppa?