I really, really hope this is some sort of hoax or joke, but the mainstream media is starting to pick up on it ...

Rumors are flying that my favorite comedian, Mitch Hedberg, has died at age 37.

This morning, I called the Baltimore club where he's scheduled to perform tonight, and they told me they had heard the rumors too, but hadn't heard from Mitch's people, so for all they knew he was still performing.

I'm hoping against hope that he's going to walk up on that stage tonight and say, "April Fool, suckers! Hahahahah!"

:(

I originally wanted to do a post to launch those interested off into a conversation about the Reds batting order, specifically the relative merits of having Adam Dunn - he of the many home runs and many, many strikeouts - bat second.

I wanted to find some of the analysis of constructing a batting order, but of it's either eye-glazing or Bonds-specific. Baseball Musings has quite a few posts dealing with the strategy behind where to have small, fast guys (like Freel) hit and where to have large, power guys (like Dunn) hit.

I recalled something I read years ago about Tony LaRussa's reasoning behind having Bo Jackson (the former football player) bat first in an All-Star game: he wanted the pitcher uncomfortable. And I would say Dunn standing near home plate makes pitchers uncomfortable, since, if you're not careful, he can hit the ball into the river.

And both papers have written about this, talking about how his penchant for drawing walks means he's on base alot for guys like Casey and Griffey, and over the course of the season he'll get a few more plate appearances.

So, I figure I might as well just point you to some Reds blogs, so that if we don't talk about baseball enough for you, you'll have a chance to get your fill without getting lost in google:

• Redleg Nation
• Reds (and Blues)
• and Red Reporter (who's our favorite, because he liked our story about Dunn and Kearns.)

Buried deep within my paper (found the headline over lunch) is an update about voting for a new color for the Roebling Suspension Bridge. Yes, Kentucky Blue (think Royal, not Sky) is ahead.

If you want, go vote. And, for the record, the headline in my paper: Most of y'all say you want Suspension Bridge UK blue.

Yep. Four of em and they are all round.
Jealous much?

Thanks a lot, guys.

The very same day we publish a "We Love" about you - not to mention the very same day you get a "Best of Cincinnati" nod - you have to go and change your name.

We know, we know - legal problems, cease and desist, blah blah. But when are you going to start thinking about OUR needs?

It's like we're seeing a side of you we never saw before, and frankly, we don't know if we're ready for a relationship with someone this unstable. We need some time to think about this ...

It feels so much like Spring that half the staff decided we had to take a walk and visit the downtown Graeter's this afternoon. Doesn't the first day of 70+ degree weather make you want to bask in the sunshine and eat ice cream too? I tried the fairly new Rocky Road, and while it didn't have the good chips in it, it was still excellent. I'm definitely making up for a Lent free of sweets this week!

On the way back we were discussing Spring-related stuff, and one comment made me glad I got my ice cream fix downtown (where there wasn't a line at 5 p.m.). So how crowded is the Hyde Park Square Graeter's going to be say 8 or 9 p.m. tonight? And how many dogs will be there? Those out the door lines and panting pups are a sure sign that warm weather is back in Cincinnati (at least for today)!

Back to the world of editing!

Can't wait for Opening Day? Hitting the streets very, very soon is our take on Cincinnati's annual civic holiday. (Want to curl up with last year's, just to fill some time? O.k.) You can also glean a little insight from SI's interview with team fisherman Adam Dunn

For all you L'ville fans, Pat Forde over at ESPN analyzes the rooting rivalry that is the Bluegrass. Personally, I didn't know they allowed Cardinal fans to live anywhere else in the state. Must be the same gene that spurns any youngster who dares go elsewhere.

We've been running the office with less than 100% staff for weeks now, thanks to that nasty new virus that knocks people out for weeks. People keep coming in all pale and blowing their noses, thinking they can make it through the day, then they give up at about 3 p.m. and go home, stay home the next day, then come back and try it again. Repeat for two weeks and pass around the office as needed. I'm paranoid that I'll be next.

Add to that Gina's trip to Florida to hang with the Reds (lucky her!), Kari's week-long vacation in New York (yep, she's lucky too), and Katie's manager training, and it seems like the office is always empty.

And starting tonight (and this is really the point of this rambling post) I will be part of the absent masses, because I'm taking a long weekend in Las Vegas! I've never been before, so I don't really know what to expect. I'm not huge on gambling, so I thought I'd focus more on the warm weather/cheap liquor aspects of the city - maybe see a show if the price is right.

Anyone have any suggestions for Vegas fun?

"They're probably going to think execution is welcome if they have to stay at Youngstown."

- State Public Defender David Bodiker, in a story about Ohio moving death row.

Austin Kearns, once thought to be in danger of losing his job as the starting right fielder, now has his own wallpaper / computer desktop image available at reds.com. I think it was the hair-do/sunglasses combination that somebody couldn't resist.

It looks like everyone that came to the CiN Weekly St. Patrick's Day celebration at Hap's in Hyde Park. Wanna see? Click here.

We didn't make a big deal about this in the issue now on the streets, but Ensemble Theatre of Cincinnati has added a weekend to the run of 'I Am My Own Wife'. So, if you can't get there this weekend and thought you were going to miss it, take heart that there are four more shows, Thursday through Saturday at 8 and Sunday at 2 through the 27th.

So in the Audiofile coming out tomorrow (updated: link), you'll read that karaoke winner Steve Timperman is trying to start a band. Word on the street is that "rock" will somehow be involved - possibly "roll," too.

If you've just got too much rock in you for one person and feel you need to share it with the world, and if you're in your late 20s-late 30s, give Steve a call at (513) 494-2247.



Oh, and Steve? Once you get your band together and have some gigs, don't forget to submit them to our calendar. Cincinnati.Com, keyword: submit.

First of all, let's give it up for all our contestants, sponsors, and people who showed up to spectate. Wow.

I really believe this is the best thing CiN has done since the magazine's inception, and that belief was proved Thursday, when I had a 30-second conversation that made my night - more than any of the 12 amazing performances; more than the crowds that showed up; certainly more than being forced to sing "You're the One that I Want" at halftime. (Beryl, the day of my revenge will come.)

There was a woman there to see the competition. As far as I know, she didn't know any of the singers. She said she wasn't even from Cincinnati - she's relocating from Florida; she read about the contest and she just had to come down here and check it out!

YES. That is EXACTLY what we want to do. We write about (or, in this case, create) fun events, and people go out to have fun and explore their city and meet new people. Oh, and did I mention having fun?


All right. On to the singing.

You'll be able to read about the winners in our March 16th issue, but here's a rundown of who sang what and how they did:

Ladies first ...

Anitra: Won at Willie's. Sang "Some Kind of Miracle" again. Seemed nervous, but was still lovely. (Incidentally, Anitra, I LOVED your dress. :) )

Chrissy: Won at Holy Grail. Did "All That Jazz" again. Still totally awesome, but the crowds blocked the view of some of her dance moves, so the overall effect was less dramatic than it had been at HG.

Jamie: Won at Hamburger Mary's with "Don't Stop Believing." For finals, belted out a completely rockin' "Take Another Little Piece of My Heart." I was stunned - Jamie was awesome in the qualifier, and this was an improvement over even THAT.

Serrica: Won at Champps. Sang "Natural Woman" again. Powerful and amazing again. At this point, another judge leaned over and said to me, "Wow - they just keep getting better!"

Charlotte: Wild card winner. (She came to several qualifiers and sang a different song each time.) Sang "What's Love Got to Do with It," which CiN staffer and "Private Dancer" superfan Mike Royer appreciated - too bad he wasn't on the judging panel. As it was, her outfit (all red, and a boa and tall boots were involved) might have caused an even bigger sensation than her singing. Overheard during her performance: "She might not win, but she IS karaoke."

Chandra: Won at Southgate House with "Chain of Fools." Won at Longworth's with "Vision of Love." Just blew us all away.

Then, the guys ...

Steve: Wild card winner with "Welcome to the Jungle." Won at Longworth's with "You Shook Me All Night Long." A fellow staffer later opined that Steve does a better Angus than he does Axel. I don't know about that - I just know about the rockin'.

Mark: Won at Hamburger Mary's. Sang "I Believe in a Thing Called Love" again. He can do things with his voice - things like a two-octave glissando - with such little effort that it kinda makes me forget to close my mouth for a while. (A glissando is a sort of vocal slide that sounds very impressive - because it IS.)

Chris: Won at Holy Grail with "I'll Be." At Longworth's, he sang "Walking in Memphis." He's got this great baritone voice that works well with the power ballads - and he wore the leather pants again! Yes!

Jerone: Won at Willie's. Sang "At This Moment" again. Did phenomenally again. I'm continually impressed with the way he handles that sort-of-a-capella moment at the end.

Antawon: Won at Champps. Did "Lady Marmalade" again. Wowed everyone again - some of the judges who couldn't see the stage well didn't believe it was a man at first. (I've seen Antawon perform other songs, too - he was a semi-regular at Christy's in the summer. I propose a "Welcome to the Jungle"-off between him and Steve.)

Micah: Won at Southgate House with "Superstition." This time, he sang a soulful "Mrs. Jones" that made me want to sway. Plus, he was super-stylin'.


So again I say: Wow. This was amazing.

Now, on to a few apologies.

I'm sorry to everyone who had trouble a) finding parking in Mount Adams and b) finding a seat in Longworth's. I guess some of the logistics were a little tricky.

I'd also like to apologize to two high-school classmates who I didn't recognize - and whose names I didn't remember, even after they told me all the classes we took together. That was pretty much the low point of the evening for me - I'm getting depressed again just thinking about it. I just really, really don't remember anything very well, and I'm pretty sure these two women hate me now for being so boneheaded. So, to Nancy Peck and Genny Stewart (did you spell it with a G?), I am very, very sorry.

So there were a few snags, but on the whole, what a fun time! I'm sure we'll be doing it again.

I'm a little disappointed in Felipe Lopez. According to his mini-profile in today's sports section, his favorite singer is Britney Spears. If he's such a good dancer and thought about the Navy Seals, shouldn't he have a better taste in music?

We've added more photos from last week's karaoke finals. CLICK HERE.

Longworth's = totally packed, awesome.

Finalists = astounding.

But...

Queen = Chandra Reese-Fries, performing "Vision of Love."

King = Steve Timperman, performing "You Shook Me All Night Long."


Much more to come, hopefully, in a later update.

We have the first round of photos from last night's CiN Weekly Karaoke Contest finals posted. Check 'em out. More photos coming later today. Stay tuned!

Let me just say it a few more times: karaoke, karaoke, karaoke!

I've been in a tizzy all week trying to prepare for this, so let me just give you the short form.

Karaoke finals. Six amazing women; six incredible men. Winner gets prize package worth more than $700.

Why should you come? Well, in addition to seeing some awesome performances, we'll be giving out some cool stuff to the audience. (Um, that would be you.) Maybe afterwards, we can all go looking for this new club those guys are starting. Or maybe we'll all be too drunk and we'll just wind up invading UDF and demanding ice cream and pork rinds. Whatever. The point is, karaoke is fun. Going to bars with friends is fun. It'll be fun.

The place: Longworth's, 1103 St. Gregory St., Mt. Adams. The contest starts at 9 p.m. Be there or be ... well, somewhere less cool, really.

Last night at Willie's Sports Cafe in Mason, CiN Weekly chose the ninth and 10th finalists for our King and Queen of Karaoke contest.

Here they are:
Jerone McQueen - He came all the way from Centerville to sing for us. My favorite part was at the end of Billy Vera's "At This Moment," when there are long, long moments of dead air - no music to guide you. Jerone navigated the a capella moments with aplomb.
Anitra Brockman - She sang "Some Kind of Miracle" by Kelly Clarkson. It's a tough song, in my opinion, and she sang it beautifully and with strength.

Good job, guys. You deserve it.


But there was a problem - there are WAY too many great singers in Greater Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky. We had to make some very tough decisions and disappoint some amazing performers. And that made us sad. Why, oh why did we say we'd take just 10 people?

But then we thought, "Hey, it's our contest! No one's stopping us from taking more finalists!"

So we decided to make it an even dozen.

We'd had it in the back of our minds for a couple of weeks: once this was all over, we'd pick a couple of wild-card finalists - people who really impressed us, but for whatever reason didn't quite make it as a regular finalist. And now, we're ready to announce them:

Girl wild card: Charlotte Grayson - Charlotte came to three - count 'em - THREE of our contests and sang her heart out to a different song each time. She won a place in our hearts and in our finals.

Guy wild card: Steve Timperman - Steve launched into Guns 'n' Roses' "Welcome to the Jungle," and we could not stop cheering. He was a crowd favorite, and we think he'll be a great addition to the finals.

Thanks again to everyone who showed up to compete. If you didn't make it into the finals, don't despair - we're having so much fun that we'll definitely have to do it again sometime.

And of course, if you're interested in seeing our 12 finalists compete for a sweet prize package, come to Longworth's in Mount Adams on Thursday, March 10. The show starts at 9, we've got some fun guest judges lined up, and I think we'll be giving away some cool gifts, too.

Read about our other finalists here.

Riverbend has started to announce shows. You may have seen the Motley Crue date in this week's paper. Today I noticed that DMB is scheduled to play July 21. Tickets go on sale April 2.

There are also two shows each in Columbus (June 7 and 8) and Indy (June 12 and 13) if you can't wait or July doesn't fit your schedule.

To those of you saddened by my previous assertion that Elvis Costello's tour wasn't coming anywhere near here, I'd offer up this happy news. He's added tour dates, one of them at the Taft April 5 (currently the last U.S. stop before heading over to the U.K.) Tickets go on sale Friday morning.