The experience that is Ikea

My feet hurt and I'm tired. I have earned the right to use multiple run-on sentences and to insert many unnecessary commas in my writing. I stayed awake for 30 hours and then slept for 15 hours. Why? To go to Ikea.

You will never understand until you experience it. You will never understand until the first time you speak with another person who has heard of that strange way of shopping and starts naming items in their apartment that they too drove to Chicago to buy.

It was fun to rendezvous before 4 a.m. It was fun to dance to live music in the dark of the morning smack-dab in front of the bright stage. It was fun to give "Girl Number 165" in line before me my purple ponytail holder because hers had just broken and she was going on camera for an interview with a local news channel. It was fun to hold the 10-foot tall girl on stilts' hand so she could get over the rope to roam the crowd, searching for little kids to "high-five." It was fun to watch the log sawing, since I had never witnessed a good-luck ceremony quite like that. It was fun to hear the Team Cincinnati choir sing in English followed by the Children's Swedish Choir and some milkmaids singing in Swedish. It was fun to eat the doughnuts and meatballs they were giving to those of us waiting in line. It was fun to get free coffee for life - since I now own a travel mug with the Ikea logo on it and print that clearly states I am to receive free coffee for the rest of my life. It was fun to get the free Frisbees, water bottles, pens, bookbags and tiny Swedish flags.

It was fun to rendezvous before 4 a.m. It was fun to dance to live music in the dark of the morning smack-dab in front of the bright stage. It was fun to give "Girl Number 165" in line before me my purple ponytail holder because hers had just broken and she was going on camera for an interview with a local news channel. It was fun to hold the 10-foot tall girl on stilts' hand so she could get over the rope to roam the crowd, searching for little kids to "high-five." It was fun to watch the log sawing, since I had never witnessed a good-luck ceremony quite like that. It was fun to hear the Team Cincinnati choir sing in English followed by the Children's Swedish Choir and some milkmaids singing in Swedish. It was fun to eat the doughnuts and meatballs they were giving to those of us waiting in line. It was fun to get free coffee for life - since I now own a travel mug with the Ikea logo on it and print that clearly states I am to receive free coffee for the rest of my life. It was fun to get the free Frisbees, water bottles, pens, bookbags and tiny Swedish flags.

It was highly amusing for someone with my sense of humor to be greeted at the door by 400 employees in yellow shirts waving and banging inflatable yellow bats. They were yelling, cheering and clapping (just for me!) as I rode the escalator to enter a store. I really don't suppose that I need that much congratulations for deciding to leave my house to go shop at a store, but boy oh boy, did that amuse me after the hideous amounts of coffee I consumed after no sleep ... nada!

We didn't even really notice the cold. It was all about hanging out with a friend who you get too busy to see and meeting new like-minded people - and by that, I mean other people just like me who find doing something like this downright knee-slapping funny!

I have realized over time that one of the most important things that I can do for myself is to make me laugh, because even if you don't think I am funny, I crack myself up. I learned yesterday that doing "uncommon" and even downright strange things can take my self-amusement to another level of existence.

Next time you try out for something, wait in a long line for something just to meet new people and have a few laughs, or take a road trip to somewhere off the beaten path, (I have already been to the Colonel Sanders Museum so you can skip me on that one), make sure you invite me along. We can take my car.

Melissa Apple is from West Chester Township.