The commodification of girlhood

A mother on a local parenting forum recently lamented that her daughter, a teenager, was having a hard time making substantive friendships. Even after switching schools several times, no matter where she went, the social environment teemed with toxic and dysfunctional personalities, far beyond the cliques and social strata that have long been (more or less) a normal part of adolescence.

Her quandary resonated with me, and my only daughter is a first-grader. The paradigm of my daughter's generation, however, could accurately be described as a sassy "7 going on 25," and it's disturbing beyond the telling of it.

In a society that glorifies shallow consumerism and superficiality, where little girls are encouraged to be vanity-obsessed, entitled little "brats," "princesses," "divas" and frankly, sex objects (just look around at the nearest mall), it should surprise no one that by the time they reach junior high school, many girls effectively embody the sexually precocious, vapid, catty, self-centered ideal they have been socially conditioned to meet.

There is precious little emphasis placed on such values as self-respect, forbearance, critical thought or graciousness, let alone empathy or social consciousness. Even movements that claim to be about "empowerment" wax disingenuous. The whole concept of "girl power" seems largely to be a subterfuge for a bizarre brand of neofeminism grounded in the willful, opportunistic objectification of girls and women. Conflating it with "self-esteem" or actual feminism is, in my mind, unadulterated rubbish.

Sadly, to resist or reject these overwhelmingly negative influences is to be patently nonconformist. For too many parents, the interest of "fitting in" trumps most - if not all - other considerations. This drastically lowers the proverbial bar, leaving those with higher standards to either compromise their principles or navigate the considerable turmoil of social ostracism.

There are many aspects of parenting about which I strive to keep an open mind. "To each their own," however, really isn't applicable in this case, for the implications are much too formidable and far-reaching.

While it is tempting to place the onus on the media and/or marketers, the truth is that the greater accountability lies with the parents and consumers who perpetuate it, whether they buy into it actively or passively, willfully or ignorantly. To call this contemptible is a gross understatement.

Kim Long is a thirtysomething urban hausfrau who lives downtown with her husband and two children, devoting herself to her family and her eponymous photography business.