Woes of a twenty-something

It's interesting to me how you can be a person surrounded by a seemingly good life and yet feel totally adrift. This is, in fact, how I am feeling: adrift, defined by dictionary.com as "floating without control; drifting; not anchored or moored; lacking aim, direction, or stability." How can a person with a great career, a great house, a loving fiance and two kick-ass dogs be "floating without control?" Well, I don't know, but I do know that I find myself, on a daily basis, wishing that some different choices had been made on my part - especially when it comes to my career path ... a path that I never wanted to pursue, but was "encouraged" to pursue by my mother.

The problem with this path, however, it that it seems endless - with no direction, and no opportunity for growth, creativity or enthusiasm. Perhaps, however, it is I who lack the understanding of where my opportunities are. Maybe I need to create them myself, or maybe I need to branch out into other interests. After all, it's not every day that an occupational therapist writes articles such as this one. Usually, they are filled with 50-cent words and endless reams of statistical analysis... something in which I have no interest!

And maybe this is why I feel adrift. While most of my friends in this field are working in rehab hospitals or conducting research to further our profession, I have chosen a path less traveled. And one, I must say, that I feel is worthwhile. (I work with adults with developmental disabilities, and I must say that they are remarkable!) After all, all I have ever wanted to do is help others.

Because I am on this road less traveled, however, I often find myself questioning how I got here, and whether I am on the right path. I often question how others decided upon their life's work.

Take my fiance, for example. He's a strapping young man, brilliant (he graduated from high school in 3 years!), and he's totally dedicated to his career as one of Cincinnati's finest - he's a police officer. And while I know that he is frequently faced with irrational people and unimaginable situations, he keeps a smile on his face - which ticks me off to no end! After all, why is he so happy, and why am I not? Is it because I entered the wrong field? Or is it because I was misguided at an early age, visions of wealth, acknowledgment and power clouding my direction?

So, here is what I want to know: How many of us feel trapped by the day-to-day? And, how many of us question whether we made the right choices professionally? Did we choose for the right reasons, or did money do the talking? When did people stop following their hearts and start following dollar signs? And how many of us wish that we could be doing anything else? Perhaps one day I will know ...

Vanessa Halter hails proudly from Madisonville. "I'm just a fool parading around in an OT's clothes!"