My last day of unemployment

You'd think that a person who is out of work for a stretch of time would use some of that time to accomplish a few of the goals that we all have, but never get around to - losing weight, writing that novel, organizing an unruly underwear drawer - because, after all, there's just not enough time. But, you'd think wrong.

I write this on a Friday. Monday, I finally start a new job. I can't wait. To start earning a paycheck again, to face a new challenge, and hopefully to meet a friend or two in a new town. But more than anything, I can't wait to NOT be unemployed.

Unemployment is exhausting. It undermines whatever sense of self-worth you had managed to build up over the years. You start off knowing you're qualified and will find the perfect position in no time. By the fourth month, you wonder if in fact you are a big loser who will never work again.

Emotionally, it drains you. The process of applying, waiting ... waiting ... and not hearing back nine out of 10 times, wears on you. Then - miracle of miracles - No. 10 calls, and your heart soars and visions of corner offices and dollar signs dance in your head. The interview takes on the importance of your first date, and you pray to any God who will listen that it will culminate in a beautiful, lucrative union. No pressure. The big day - more waiting ... waiting ... analyzing what went wrong. Finally, "Sorry, we had an internal candidate," or "a candidate with a gazillion years of relevant experience." Of course they did.

But worst of all, unemployment puts you on the receiving end of the question, "What do you do all day?"

This question, coming from my gainfully employed husband (who overall is understanding and supportive) cuts deep. My hackles rise, and I answer, "I do plenty."

I don't sleep in or lounge around reading all day. I search for and apply for jobs, keep up with laundry and housework, walk the dog, balance the checkbook, shop for and prepare food, and all the while worry about when I will get a job.

I wonder how I used to get everything done when I did work. But then I remember - when I was employed, I didn't always keep up with the laundry, or keep the house as clean, and I used to get more help. When I start work again next week, some things will go undone, and my husband will have to start helping out again.

On this, my last day of unemployment, at least I have written this Last Word, plan to get on the treadmill next, and just might make time to organize my underwear drawer. After all, what else do I have to do?

Amber Gunderman, an account executive with the Community Press, lives in West Chester Township.